I was once called, out of the blue, to be a kind of stand-in for the recently and lamentably deceased Rachel Held Evans.  It was the fall of 2012 and I had never before heard her name, but Bryan College had booked her to be a part of a panel on the “Culture Wars” along with fellow faith-blogger Jonathan Merritt.  A few weeks before the event, RHE had to bow out for some reason.  So, Bryan College looked around for a progressive young Christian woman in the area and found me.  31 years old, recently ordained as an Episcopal priest, I had been serving in my first (and so far only) call as Rector of Thankful Memorial Episcopal Church in Chattanooga for a little over a year.  And I fit the bill for a would-be RHE.

I was then a rather low-bar stand-in for her.  Maybe I can fill a similar role now.  Much like her, I am a politically liberal but theologically conservative white(ish) woman, on the cusp of Gen-Y and Millenial, mom of young kids, committed to my faith lived authentically – which often means practically and almost as often poorly.  Perhaps there is a way I can begin to fill the huge void that she left at her death.

Of course, I differ from RHE too: I am a Palestinian-Irish-Croation-(in that order)-American Episcopal priest.  I have not come out of the particular brand of religious or political conservatism that RHE was born into.  I have been shaped by a different sort of history and background: the context of my Texan-Palestinian-Episcopalian upbringing – much of which I never really strayed from.   A father I adored who died when I was old enough to be a grown-up but young enough to still feel orphaned (maybe we’re always young enough to feel orphaned by a parent’s death).  A husband who is a British Anglo-Catholic priest and academic.  A life in the upper echelons of an intellectual university town nestled within the most rural of rural Tennessee.  All of these things have shaped who I am as a woman and as a priest. 

But the biggest influence on my priesthood this past decade has actually been the congregation at Thankful Memorial Episcopal Church.  My background and context have helped to shape me.  The bishop laid hands on my head and ordained me.  But it is the people of Thankful who have made me a priest.

As I have grown into my identity and my ministry over the past ten years as a young clergywoman (shout out to Young Clergy Women International here!), the congregation at Thankful has grown with me.  In numbers, yes, but much more importantly, in Spirit.  Together, we have come alongside each other, them forming me into a skilled preacher, teacher, liturgist, administrator and pastor, me forming them into baptized ministers confident in their own abilities and talents as evangelists, meaning-makers and carers of each other and their own additional communities. 

And, ultimately, that mutual growth and mutual ministry has made Thankful Church something of a success story.  It may still be small, but it is mighty.  It is a congregation planted firmly in the traditions of the Episcopal Church and still vibrant in its outlook moving forward into the future.  The congregation doesn’t have numerous programs or much in the way of annual events, but it does have well-formed Christian individuals who are nourished by shared Eucharist and fellowship with each other to work together and separately to change their little corner of the earth.  And surely that’s exactly what the Church is meant to be, to do.  And though no one may know of us beyond the confines of our diocese, though no one may be able to exactly quantify our successes in all the ways success is often quantified, it is nonetheless true that God’s Spirit has been moving something fierce among this little group of people and it has been one of the greatest privileges and blessings of my life to be such a big part of that movement. 

So, no matter what happens to me from here: whether I remain at Thankful for the rest of my life and my career (a distinct possibility at this point!) or move on someday, I think I will always and forever remain the Thankful priest.  And for that, I am truly grateful.

Which brings me to this blog.  My intention here is to reflect on what has made this relationship with my Thankful Ones so unique, so healthy, so successful, in the hopes that maybe The Episcopal Church and other Christians can learn from it and replicate it in other places.  And a big part of that is reshaping how we define “success.”  For Thankful, success doesn’t look like 300 people on a Sunday morning or a growing endowment of millions.  What does success look like?  Well, hopefully, a lot of that will become apparent in this blog.

And it’s not just parishes and churches.  Success can get redefined in our families, in our careers, among our various cohorts, too.  My kids don’t arrive at church all dressed alike.  On any given day, there’s a good chance that my daughter will be wearing leggings that don’t match her dress or that my oldest son will refuse to tell me – for the hundredth time – what he did at school, or that the baby won’t hit one of the developmental milestones at exactly the right time.  It’s also very likely true that my career will have begun and end at Thankful, a small little parish in a corner of Chattanooga.  I may spend my entire career in this tiny place and be blissfully happy there.  And you know what?  All of that is ok – more than ok in fact – so long as we are becoming the people God imagines us.  I hope that my reflections will help anyone who reads them redefine success with me – in the Church and in our lives. 

And a note about all of this: I think blogging is hugely self-centered and narcissistic.  I’m not sure anyone would have any interest in what I say here in this ether-space.  But, I am nonetheless interested in taking up these strands of my life and my work and my ministry and examining them to see how they are all woven together, to appreciate the beauty that is God’s gift of life to each of us.  And, if anyone wants to come along for the ride with me, you are more than welcome.  Es-salaamu alaykum.  Peace be with you all.